Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Randomize
