don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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