I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
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when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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