It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
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