I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
