i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
