Can i not drive my cunt home
he shaved USA in his pubs
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
false alarm. still invincible.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
