there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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