Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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