this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
