I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
