Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
