So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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