My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I will pee on everything he values.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
