i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
