I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
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Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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