after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
