I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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