i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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