And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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