yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
