You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
