i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
