Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
