I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
