HIV tests are more positive than that guy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
