I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
