he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".