He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
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Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.