I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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