I'm jealous of your bromance
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
