My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
