I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
