I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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