Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
