So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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