Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
