I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
try to milk me bitch
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
