I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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