wrigley field is MILF paradise
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
