you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
you had me at cake vodka
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
