somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
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I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
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There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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