i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
