I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
