you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
