she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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