you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!