theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
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I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.