Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
