not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
