i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
