Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
