i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
