Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
