Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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