So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize