Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
