Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
