I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
