Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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