i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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