Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
