If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
