Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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