We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
