she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
